Career Path - or is it more like a dwindling trail......

i am currently in job position limbo once again. surprisingly, it's something that's hard for me to deal with. i get emotional and feel really lonely. this job is strange like that. there seem to be two different teams trying to reach the same end goal, yet they're in constant competition. one side is very close-knit and supportive, and the other is stretched out as far as it can be without any communication and is completely unsupportive and passive. what i'm having a hard time dealing with is when they decide to switch. this is just a job, for god's sake!

i was told to help create a full service design showroom and make it my 'baby', my 'home' away from home, but i've been stopped and ignored by almost everything i've suggested or tried to do - which begs the question - 'am i a good designer?'

i'm seriously starting to doubt myself about my career path. i've done good projects, and i've put together good designs for people. i'm not terrible, i just can't seem to get my vision across. people expect a designer to walk in a room and start moving things around till everything looks amazing. well, that's not how i operate, unfortunately for them and me. i know that i can do something amazing given a little time, computer and markers, but i don't have enough confidence in me to get the project going.

sratch all that. my problems have become insignificant. a friend of mine took his life today. i don't know what to think. i will miss him. we all will.